


Silence

by GlowingMechanicalHeart



Series: Cassian Appreciation Week [4]
Category: Rogue One: A Star Wars Story (2016)
Genre: Character Study, Gen, Introspection
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-31
Updated: 2018-07-31
Packaged: 2019-06-19 05:30:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 375
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15503361
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GlowingMechanicalHeart/pseuds/GlowingMechanicalHeart
Summary: He was always doing, always making some noise.Because he was a man who could not stand silence.Because silence terrified him.





	Silence

Cassian was honest with himself enough to call himself a killer.

He had to be, he was fighting an Empire that had no problem slaughtering people as they saw fit. So he fought in whichever way he could. And sometimes, that way was via assassination. He had pulled the trigger so many times now, it was disturbingly natural for him.

He was also a man of action, a man of noise. He was always tinkering on something, always making plans. Traveling to some planet to help with the Rebellion. He was a man who was ready at all times to do what he must. Talking to Kaytoo when he had to, going over plans, sabotaging ships, spying and reporting on the Empire’s activities. He was always doing, always making some noise.

Because he was a man who could not stand silence.

Because silence terrified him. In silence, his mind wondered. In silence, every single little thing that crossed his mind, was front and center; in the silence of his mind every thing that could go wrong, went wrong. In his mind’s eye, silence was a silent killer. In the silence of his mind, all his actions came to the forefront.

Good and bad.

Which is why he sometimes hated being a sniper, that required silence and patience. He was a patient man, he had to be; but silence is something he hated being confronted by.

In silence, every fear that had haunted him since childhood played in front of his eyes like a holo. In silence, every reproach he ever made to himself was there, like an echo chamber that would not stop. In silence, every question he had always had about himself and his place in the galaxy was there, gnawing at him and at his confidence.

He was not a man for silence, so he did what he could to avoid it. Even in his missions where silence was required of him, he would always hum quietly, or he’d concentrate on a sound and do what he could amplify it. He would mutter under his breath or recite a motto over and over again until the mission was over.

Until he could interrupt the silence of his mind with the sounds of victory.


End file.
